


Cabbage Noir

by Milligramme



Category: Persona 4
Genre: Christmas gift, I wouldn't have written this on my own I swear but also I really had fun, Other, Please don't judge me, Pre-Canon, Secret Santa, i guess this is my life now
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-07
Updated: 2018-01-07
Packaged: 2019-03-01 17:17:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13299516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Milligramme/pseuds/Milligramme
Summary: Adachi is leaving Tokyo and wants to spend his last night in the city alone with cheap food and a bottle of whiskey, hardboiled detective style. His plans change a bit when he crosses paths with a lone cabbage and brings her home for the night.





	Cabbage Noir

**Author's Note:**

> Due to popular demand, here is my Secret Santa gift for [Skyden](http://alaurable-littleapplis.tumblr.com/)! Her request was "Adachi/Cabbage or Adachi/Pen" so obviously I decided to do both!
> 
> Also, a special thank you to Rawen, who had to read it twice because he found that the first version wasn't dramatic enough!
> 
> Fun fact: “chou” (pronounced like “shoe”) is the French word for “cabbage”, but it’s also a pet name. So basically, “Adachou” is both a cute way to call Adachi, and a valid ship name for Adachi/Cabbage.  
> Fun fact 2: While writing this story I was this close to typing “what kind of cabbage can you put your dick in” in a search engine. I guess this is my life now…  
> Fun fact 3: My deepest regret is that there's an expression in French, "faire chou blanc" (lit. "make white cabbage") which means to fail at something, and I really wanted to do something with it but that doesn't work in English...
> 
> Anyway, enjoy?

It was raining in Tohru’s heart like it was raining in Tokyo. This city was like a dirty bitch. It was so shiny on the outside, alluring and dolled up, yet it hid the darkest horrors. As an inspector, he knew that all too well. It was so beautiful, so deceptive, acting all cute and welcoming only to stab you in the back when it had the chance. Never letting your weakness show was one of the most important lessons he had ever learned. You had to treat it like you would a woman. Never let them see your back.

Women were shit. And so was life.

The inspector sighed as he readjusted his felt hat, shuddering at the cold water pouring down his neck and in the collar of his yellow raincoat. The rain had started accumulating in his hood, making it weigh down on his shoulders. It was nothing compared to the weight of his misery though.

He couldn’t believe that he had to leave so soon. Why should he get transferred? He didn’t do anything to deserve that! It was just a tiny mistake. Almost nothing. Why did he have to be punished so harshly for it? Why did the higher ups have to take everything from him? His life, his home, his job… And all the hot chicks he’d never get to meet… That was unfair.

He didn’t even take his hat off when he walked into the _konbini_ that evening, looking for a half-priced _bento_ and a cheap bottle of whiskey. He was too lost in his dark thoughts to remember common decency. The only thing his mind was focused on was how to get to his meal. There was only an omelet box left and he grabbed it bitterly. He hated those. They reminded him of darker times; a tragic event from his past that involved an old omelet _bento_ and a grim evening of pain and sickness. Why was life so hard on him? He wondered as he slowly walked toward the drinks aisle, trying to repress those painful memories.

All of the bottles he found were too expensive for him, and anyway, Tohru finally remembered that his fridge was gone to the boonies already, reminding him of the painful truth that there was nothing left for him in Tokyo already. Everyone had left him. And everything, too. Looking back on the drinks, the inspector decided that there was no point in strong liquor if he couldn’t drink it on the rocks. He sighed deeply. His old bottle of plum _sake_ would have to do. What a letdown.

As he slowly walked toward the counter with his sad _bento_ in hand, he came across the vegetables aisle and noticed a lone, discount white cabbage. It looked so dejected and so battered by life that Tohru couldn’t help but get closer, out of some morbid curiosity. Aside from a few ugly leaves, it looked good enough to be eaten. Probably, housewives and students judged it only by its cover and now it stood here, forsaken by all. This cabbage was like him. It was a metaphor for his life right now. He put his hand on it slowly and let out a compassionate sigh. It could make a nice meal once he arrived in that shitty little town whose name he had forgotten already.

A last reminder of the city.

“I got you, buddy,” he whispered as he gently grabbed it and walked toward the check out with it.

.

An old futon, a bottle of plum sake, and now a cabbage and a sorry _bento_. That was all that was left in Tohru’s flat since the movers came in the morning. The inspector took off his shoes and hung his drenched hat and coat on the hangers left in the entrance, cursing at the water that came out of his hood and splashed on the ground. He then looked up at the living room and sighed. He didn’t know what was worse between the pouring rain outside and the sight of his empty, dark flat. Even with the lights turned on, it wasn’t much better.

Tohru grabbed the bottle, remembered that he didn’t even have a glass left and sighed as he resolved to drink directly from it. Yep, he’d just sunk that low…

He quickly ate his lunch while the lone cabbage stood a few feet away from him, so round and glistening, yet only adding a touch of sadness in the air. Alone with a cabbage… What a worst way to spend his last evening in the city he loved and hated so much?

This cabbage and he were so alike, he thought once again. No one saw their true value. And now he was going to drag it down with him, a silent travel companion. As he finished drinking half of his bottle, he grabbed the vegetable and placed it near him on the futon, stroking it gently. They were in this together, they didn’t have to stay so far from each other.

Poor little cabbage… Poor little Tohru… He didn’t know which of the statements was truer. But those leaves were incredibly smooth under his fingers, and the slight coldness wasn’t unpleasant.

 _You know where else it could be pleasant?_ A thought bubbled suddenly. _On your dick._

That was … an idea, his intoxicated mind decided. After all, this cabbage wasn’t just any cabbage. She was his buddy. His pal. His companion of misfortune. And it looked a lot like a smooth, round ass, if he looked closely at it. So soft… Hard yet slightly supple… So tempting… One of his colleagues had a nice butt like that, and Tohru had always dreamed of being able to touch it.

His expression softened as he started petting it fondly now, his cock slowly getting harder at the thought of his sexy colleague. This cabbage was all he had left now. He was so low already, there was no way he could sink lower, he reasoned as he pulled down his trousers and put the vegetable on his lap, rubbing against it.

On second thoughts, it didn’t feel as good as he expected. He put it aside with a disappointed sigh and kept stroking it gently while he started jerking off with his other hand. That was a lot better, he decided with a satisfied hum. He closed his eyes as he let his thoughts wander away from the cabbage, and then back to her and her smooth surface and perfect firmness.

If he was going to jerk off to a cabbage, he’d better be drunker than that, he exclaimed (mentally or not, he couldn’t remember already). He reopened his eyes to grab the bottle, and took another swig. That was when the light bulb died, because of course it had to happen. Now, the only thing standing between him and utter darkness was the sickly neon across the street; and in the middle of the pool of light, Tohru noticed a pen. He recognized it instantly. It was the expensive pen that he’d been given on his farewell party at the station. He had shoved it in his pocket mindlessly and forgotten it in there. It must have gotten out when he took out his trousers. It was sleek, smooth, and entirely made of steel. It looked quite elegant, all shiny and glistening in the blinking light of the pink and blue neon, but the inspector knew from experience that those things were almost impossible to write with. They were too slippery, and you could never get a good grip on those. In other words, it was perfectly useless and vaguely shaped like a sex toy.

 _Maybe he could find a use to it then…_ he thought as he drunk some more.

He then took a look at what was left and decided that it would be a shame to leave so little in the bottle. Better finish it now, he resolved as he gulped the rest down.

He then put it aside and retrieved the pen. It really looked like a futuristic ass plug…

A pen, a cabbage, no light, and too much to drink. Thus would be Tohru’s last evening in Tokyo, he mused as he kept examining it, his other hand caressing the cabbage again mindlessly. This would be something to remember by.

With that thought, he lowered it to his butthole and took a deep breath as he started slowly pushing it inside him, enjoying the way the cold metal became warmer at his contact. He gripped the cabbage slightly as he let it go deeper, stopping only when he reached the clip. Now, if he remembered well, if he searched just a bit, he could reach his prostate, just… Here!

He let out a moan when the tip of the pen rubbed against it, and he gripped the cabbage harder as he kept going. This was starting to be good! Not stopping to use the pen, he gently nudged the vegetable away and flopped to his side, keeping his cheek against the smooth leaves as he used his now free hand to stroke his rock hard dick. The difference of temperature between the fresh cabbage and his own, rising heat felt amazing.

He kept jerking off faster and faster, still angling the pen to stroke the right point, inhaling the green smell of the sexy vegetable in front of him and letting it roll in the crook of his neck, letting out a content sigh when the coldness hit him. He came soon after, moaning the cabbage’s name, which was now “Cabbie”. He kissed her gently before taking the pen outside of him and throwing it in the general direction of the bag containing the leftovers of his dinner. To the trash it would go.

As for his new leafy friend… He was going to keep her by his side for a little longer.

He took off the rest of his clothes, rolled under the blankets and kept her in his arms as he fell asleep, holding her tight and rubbing her lovingly.


End file.
